“You minimize everything you do.”
“You have anger management issues, control issues, and relationship issues.”
“I don’t care if you’re nice to her, but the fact is that she is afraid of you and with good reason considering that you have harmed her in the past.”
“I’m granting the permanent restraining order.”
Six words that I have longed to hear for almost four years now. “I’m granting the permanent restraining order.” Six little words and I was flooded with relief. Tears streamed down my face, mascara ran, my whole body was shaking, I was suddenly aware of the cold that encompassed that courtroom.
Two weeks ago the same magistrate informed me that there was no way he would make the temporary restraining order permanent. I walked into that courtroom already defeated. I had no hope that anything good would result from that hearing. The only sliver of hope I had was that maybe I could lay out the history of abuse, show the magistrate exactly what kind of person he is, and convince him that this restraining was for me, not my child. I’m the one that gets shoved, pushed, hit, called names, etc.
“Yes, he has visitation of my daughter. Every other weekend. I would love to stop that, but this hearing isn’t about that case. I have to fight that somewhere else. This is about the fact that I know, without a doubt in my mind, that he would kill me if he had the chance. I’ve tried to stop it, I can’t. I left him almost four years ago but I can’t stop it. He has pushed me, shoved me, hit me, cut me, and emotionally he has ripped me apart. He will continue to do this to me until you stop him. That is the only way.”
The magistrate believed me. My ex showed his true colors with all the arrogance in the world and I now have a permanent restraining order. And it feels so good… Almost like a brand new life has begun.